Secret Weapon
by Jayne Cobb09
Summary: The Wraith come up with a secret weapon they claim will take out the Atlantis team once and for all. When the team is captured by the Wraith, will they be able to withstand the torture? COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – found out today that there was already a musical for SGA but decided to do my own anyway. I am NOT stealing the other people who wrote the musical's idea. If I had used the same songs and plot line, that would be stealing. Mine is completely different.**

**Don't get mad.**

**I also have the Wraith use a lot of British slang and you'd feel happy not to know what they say, but I will let you know what some words mean. I'll let your imagination run with the others. . . **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, in anyway, any characters and such from Stargate Atlantis. I'm just borrowing. I also do not own any of the songs, whether I manipulate them or not. I will disclaim the songs in the beginning of each chapter.**

**One last note: songs are in **_italics_

** Actions done during the songs are in _bold and italics_**

**Story is **plain

**I do not own "Fight the Power" by Bis. **

Chapter One

The Wraith sat impatiently in their hive ship waiting to find the perfect planet to cull. Some were too small while other's were spacious but lacked the certain craving they desired.

The dark, musty and damp interior of the ship matched the moods of the Wraith as their fruitless searches got them nowhere. Another problem seemed to arise during that time and it was Atlantis. Not the place itself, just the people in it.

The people in it have escaped a culling more than once and helped other races from it as well. That interference was becoming troubling and bothersome. All the lower Wraith looked to their leader for answers.

It was one of those rare moments when the Wraith Leader called a meeting with his underlings. Usually he yelled at them over the intercom from his room while he fed, but this time, he had a plan he couldn't just yell over the intercom.

"What have you come up with, oh great leader?" one of the Wraith asked as he drooled on the table. The Wraith Leader sighed, frustrated and banged a fist on the table.

"SILENCE!" he yelled though nobody was talking. Wraith aren't very smart, nor very good of hearing. "How many times must I tell you not to drool on the TABLE!"

"I am sorry," the Wraith who drooled lowered his head. "I will punish myself." He commenced to bang his head repeatedly on the table. The Wraith Leader paid no attention and continued.

"I am displeased with the way you are handling the Atlantis people. I tried to torment the one they call Sheppard but he did not understand what I said and laughed."

"Was that when you said 'Hey chutney ferret, take your small family jewels and stick them back in the jewelry drawer . . .?"

"Yes, only the doctor laughed. My idea is much better now. It's our secret weapon. They'll never be able to escape it and when they arrive in our trap, we'll capture them and shove them in a cell and torture them with the secret weapon. Then, at the right moment, I will choose the least likely person in their bunch to sing. If they sing better than us, we will set them free." The Wraith Leader smiled at his plan but met only resistant faces.

"Sing, oh powerful one?" the drooling Wraith, now with an excessive head injury, drooled even more and slurred. But the nervousness was still easy to find in his voice. The Wraith Leader banged his fist on the table again.

"Stop gabbin'! It will be doddle (1) compared to attempting to cull them again."

"What should we do to prepare?" a Wraith called out.

"Cloak and fly right over Atlantis. Prepare the ship, bring up the cloak. . ." the Wraith Leader dramatically paused. "And pull out the karaoke machine. We're going to need to practice."

(----------------------------------------------)

Once slowly drifting closer to Atlantis, the Wraith Leader clutched the edge of his chair with whiter knuckles than usual. His white hair shook as he trembled with antici. . . . . . . . . . . pation. This was their, his best idea yet.

He was to send a man of his down to plant a chip in the human's computer. The chip will in turn effect the human's themselves. The Wraith Leader wished he could watch the effect but he had to do the rest after that. After planting the chip, a sure suicide mission for whoever went (so that's why the Leader volunteered his son, so it's all sorted out.), they would leave.

THEN from a remote location, the Wraith would disguise a message as one of distress, lure the humans to the planet, torture them with the secret weapon and then challenge them to the contest. If all went well, dinner would be delightful that night in the great Feeding Room.

The Leader thought of Sheppard and all his hunger pains that panged him late at night. And as he sent his son off to his doom and destruction, but with encouraging words that he never loved him anyway so there was no pressure of disappointment if he lived, music built up behind him and he couldn't help but belt out a tune. . .

_Up on the mountain I'll be counting_

_days 'til we meet again_

_Get my revenge We'll never be friends_

_keep building up my brain_

_Just watch your back For my next attack_

_you never know when I'll strike_

_Could be today Don't get in my way_

_you'll see what you'll never like_

_I've got the brain **(begins dancing crazily while underlings stare frightened) **_

_I'm insane_

_(You can't stop the power)_

_See you in pain_

_Yet again_

_(you won't stop the power)_

_I'm your creator And your enslaver_

_I can destroy you all_

_You've got the brainpower Of a sunflower_

_get ready for a fall_

_I'll find a way To spoil your day_

_to stop you from doing good_

_I'll take you out It's no use to shout_

_I'd break you, you know I would_

Satisfied he got his message through, though Sheppard did not hear it, the Wraith Leader smiled. He turned to his underlings and sucked in some salvia to stop from drooling.

"Let's go. We've got a fake distress call to make."

(-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------)

**(1) doddle – something easy. **

**I think most of you know what "family jewels" are and I'll reveal what "Chutney ferret" means later. **

**Like it? Hate it? Let me know!**

There won't be music in every chapter, just almost every chapter. T.T


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own "Dream Police" sung by Cheap Trick, with words and music by Rick Nielsen. I twisted the words around a little to fit, of course.**

Chapter Two

Down on Atlantis, Sheppard dug his gun back in it's holster as he stared down at the Wraith they caught somewhere near the computers. He didn't know if it had done anything and wasn't prepared to take that risk.

"Rodney, get a team down here to take a look at the computers. I think our Wraith friend might of done something and I don't want to take any risks." Sheppard called through the radio.

"Yes, right." Came Rodney's fast voice from the other end. The radio clicked off and Sheppard ordered his officers to take the body away.

(------------------------------------------------------)

"Did you find anything?" Elizabeth asked later as the were all crowded around the semi-circular table.

"Not. . . really." Rodney muttered.

"What do mean 'not really'?" Sheppard raised an eye brow as did Elizabeth. Teyla and Ronan just sat quietly.

"Yes Rodney, what do you mean by that?" Elizabeth leaned in closer making Rodney uncomfortable. He laughed nervously and continued.

"We did, well I did. . ." Rodney began to laugh but notice nobody joined in with him and his face straightened again. "We found a small glitch in the system and they're looking into it now."

"Thank you." Elizabeth nodded to Rodney who muttered something and then she addressed the rest of the team. "Alright, everyone is dismissed. Rodney keep an eye out. I want all of you keep an eye out, anything, anything at all, you come tell me, got it?"

Everyone nodded one by one and left. Elizabeth was the last to leave and made her way to the gate. She stood with her arms crossed and stared at the gate, but her musings were interrupted by a tech guy.

"We've got gate activity, ma'am."

"Is there an IDC?" Elizabeth walked up behind the tech to stare over his shoulder trying to recall if she sent a team out.

"No, ma'am, but. . ."

"What?"

"The signal seems urgent. Shall I open the gate?" The tech looked up at her awaiting orders. If it was urgent. . . Elizabeth sighed and then nodded.

"Go ahead."

"Yes ma'am." The tech faced his control's again.

(----------------------------------------------------)

"Did the plan proceed as hoped?" The Wraith Leader's lips curled in something slightly resembling a smile.

"Yes, oh great one. Everything is fantabulous." The Wraith curled his lips back.

"Don't EVER say that word again. And don't curl your lips at me. Get back to work!" The Wraith Leader glowered, which he is much better at.

"Of course." The Wraith bowed and stepped away.

"Now we just sit. . . and wait."

(-----------------------------------------------------)

"Teyla, I know you don't like doing this but we need your help." Elizabeth had told everyone about the distress signal from a remote and recently culled planet. Sheppard suggested making sure the Wraith were gone before they went.

Now Elizabeth and Sheppard were trying to convince Teyla to tap into her Wraith connection. They stood in the infirmary and Beckett tapped his foot impatiently on the sidelines. He had other patients and no time for arguments.

"Are ya gonna do this or not?" Beckett called out.

Teyla scanned her friend's faces and raised an eyebrow. She sighed and looked Sheppard straight in the eye.

"Fine." Teyla submitted and sat down on a nearby bed. "Let us get this over with."

"Are they close enough for you to see them?" Sheppard asked as Beckett stood nearby just in case.

Suddenly music began from seemingly nowhere and Teyla stood, having no control over her mouth or body parts. Then, she began to sing. . .

_The ugly Wraith, they live inside of my head._

_The ugly Wraith, they come to me in my bed._

_The ugly Wraith, they're coming to arrest me, oh no._

_You know that talk is cheap, and those rumors ain't nice._

_And when I fall asleep I don't think I'll survive the night, the night._

'_cause they're waiting for me._

_They're looking for me._

_Ev'ry single night they're driving me insane._

_Those Wraith inside my brain._

_The ugly Wraith, they live inside of my head._

_(live inside of my head.)_

_The ugly Wraith, they come to me in my bed._

_(come to me in my bed.)_

_The ugly Wraith, they're coming to arrest me, oh no._

_Well, I can't tell lies, 'cause they're listening to me._

_And when I fall asleep, bet they're spying on me tonight, tonight._

'_cause they're waiting for me._

_They're looking for me._

_Ev'ry single night they're driving me insane._

_Those Wraith inside my brain._

_I try to sleep, they're wide awake, they won't leave me alone._

_They don't get paid to take vacations, or let me alone._

_They spy on me, I try to hide, they won't let me alone._

_They persecute me, they're the judge and jury all in one._

'_cause they're waiting for me._

_They're looking for me._

_Ev'ry single night they're driving me insane._

_Those Wraith inside my brain._

_The ugly Wraith, they live inside of my head._

_The ugly Wraith, they come to me in my bed._

_The ugly Wraith, they're coming to arrest me._

Everyone stared at Teyla, mouths and eyes agape. Teyla's cheeks blushed in either embarrassment or something else, nobody was sure.

"I do not know where that came from. I am sorry." Teyla bowed her head. Sheppard yelled into his radio.

"Rodney. . ."

"Um, yes?" came the rush voice of Rodney who was in the middle of arguing with Zelenka.

"Let's work a little harder, huh? We struck a little problem."


	3. Chapter 3

**Maybe I will put songs in each chapter. . . there are only six songs. Oh, I don't know. This song (besides the last one which will remain a surprise) is my favorite… I'll disclaim the songs at the end of each chapter. . . **

Chapter Three

The Wraith Leader was disappointed that he had to miss the first song sung on Atlantis, but he was sure it was good. His son had not returned from Atlantis and for that, the Leader was pleased. One less mouth to feed was all he said to himself when he heard the news.

His long and slender fingers drummed impatiently on his chair as he stared out into the wilderness. He had sent some of his underlings out to see if anybody was left to eat and meanwhile, the Leader pondered about what could be keeping the Atlantis team. . .

(----------------------------------------------)

"MCKAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"I'M TRYING TO WORK!"

"WELL TRY HARDER!"

"I AM TRYING!"

"WELL. . . HEH, HEH RODNEY. . . IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE EATING A SANDWICH!"

"Rodney, John! What is going on here!" Elizabeth stalked over to the two men after she heard yelling while she was on the way to the mess. Sheppard turned, obviously frustrated to meet Elizabeth's fire eyes.

"I come in here to see how McKay's doing and find him eating a sandwich!" John waved his hand in the air.

"What does he think," McKay put down his sandwich so forcefully some lettuce flew into the air. " that I don't need to eat or sleep. Has he forgotten that maybe, um, I'm HUMAN!"

"I don't know about that McKay. . ." John laughed but Elizabeth stopped him before he could continue. She set her jaw firmly before she spoke to let them know how angry and disappointed she was with their behavior so she didn't have to waste time in trying to find the words.

"Rodney, John is right. You just ate lunch." At that statement, John smiled smugly but frowned with what was said by Elizabeth next. " And you, John don't you have anything better to do then "check up" on Rodney? Now, Rodney, John, get a hold of yourselves and do something productive."

Elizabeth watched as Sheppard stomped off the left without saying a word and McKay mumbled some excuse or another and stalked off to the right, leaving his sandwich behind. Elizabeth collapsed into the chair McKay had recently been sitting in and sighed.

Noticing the lonely sandwich with only one bit out of it, her stomach grumbled.

"Well, I suppose Rodney wouldn't mind if I just. . ." Elizabeth reached out for the sandwich and almost had it to her mouth when McKay returned and snatched it out of her hand.

"Thank you." He mumbled and took a big bite before walking away. Elizabeth sighed yet again as her stomach grumbled.

(---------------------------------------------)

"I'm sorry I missed your performance earlier." Ronan smiled at Teyla as he strode up next to her as she walked down the hallway. She looked up at him and smiled politely.

"Trust me, you'd be glad." She slowed slightly realizing she had nowhere important to be. "I believe singing is not something I hold in high esteem on my records. You?" Teyla tried to make conversation. Ronan snorted and kept his hands behind his back.

"Not in the least bit. Never tried, not sure I ever want to." Ronan almost bumped into Sheppard who was stalking down the hallway staring at the ground. Ronan stopped him and stared down. "What's your problem?"

"Oh, I just found Rodney eating a sandwich instead of working on the problem." Sheppard looked from Teyla to Ronan. "Now he called me to the Puddle Jumper area and all he told me was he had good news."

"Would you like me to accompany you? I have nowhere of importance to be at the moment. Is this the Puddle Jumper they are readying for the flight to the planet with the distress signal?" Teyla asked as the trio moved out of someone's way.

"Yeah, sure. It usually isn't good when McKay has good news. Wanna come Ronan?"

"Yeah, whatever." Ronan shrugged and joined Teyla and John as they rounded a corner.

"I'll assume that's a 'yes' since your following us." Sheppard found the door to the Jumper area. The door immediately opened. Sheppard turned to Teyla and smiled. "I'll never get tired to that, you know?"

When McKay spotted Sheppard and the other two, he and Zelenka ran up to him and took turns speaking.

"We finally found out that we could. . ." Zelenka began but McKay, eager for praise cut him off and finished.

". . . upgrade some systems to make the ride easier and maybe add some well. . . shinier parts."

At that statement, Sheppard's whole day brightened considerably and had to resist the incredible urge to jump up and down like a little girl and hug McKay. Instead, he resorted to smiling hugely.

"What are you going to do?"

"Well. . ." McKay and Zelenka looked to each other before speaking, until Zelenka finally cleared his throat.

"Dr. Weir said to leave that up to you."

"Hmm. . . ." Sheppard started to think when the lights flickered off. When they returned, Sheppard's hair was slicked back, he was wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket. It wasn't until the music began that Teyla ran away. Ronan was too late to realize what was going on, but was not pulled into sing, but sadly forced to watch. . .

_**Sheppard: **Well this jumper is automatic,_

_It's systematic,_

_It's hydromatic _

_Why, it could be Greased Lightnin'!_

_We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrel quads, oh yeah_

_**Rodney: **Keep talkin', whoa keep talkin'!_

_**Sheppard: **Fuel injection cut off and chrome plated rods, oh yeah_

_**Zelenka: **I'll get her ready, I need to get her ready!_

_**Sheppard: **With a four-speed on the floor, they'll be waitin' at the door_

_You know that ain't shit when we'll be gettin' lots of hits_

_Greased Lightnin'_

_**Sheppard: **Go, Greased Lightnin'_

_You're burnin' up the quarter mile_

_**Scientists: **Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'_

_**Sheppard: **Go Greased Lightnin' _

_You're coasting through the heat lap trails_

_**Scientists: **Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'_

_**Sheppard: **You are supreme_

_The chicks'll cream_

_For Greased Lightnin'_

_**Scientists: **Go go go go go go go go_

_**Sheppard: **We'll get some purple pitched tail lights and thirty inch fins, oh yeah_

_A palomino dashboard and duel-muffler twins, oh yeah_

_With new boosters, plates and shocks_

_I can get off my rocks_

_You know that I ain't braggin', she's a real pussy wagon_

_Greased Lightnin'_

_**Sheppard: **Go, Greased Lightnin'_

_You're burnin' up the quarter mile_

_**Scientists: **Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'_

_**Sheppard: **Go Greased Lightnin' _

_You're coasting through the heat lap trails_

_**Scientists: **Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'_

_**Sheppard: **You are supreme_

_The chicks'll cream_

_For Greased Lightnin'_

_**Scientists: **Go go go go go go go go_

_**(Dance interlude where Sheppard climbs on top of the Jumper and dances while the scientists dance all around the Jumper. Ronan stares with an eyebrow raised the whole time.)**_

_**Sheppard: **Go, Greased Lightnin'_

_You're burnin' up the quarter mile_

_**Scientists: **Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'_

_**Sheppard: **Go Greased Lightnin' _

_You're coasting through the heat lap trails_

_**Scientists: **Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'_

_**Sheppard: **You are supreme_

_The chicks'll cream_

_For Greased Lightnin'_

_**Scientists: **Go go go go go go go go_

Once the music ended, Sheppard finally realized where he was standing and jumped down. His hair slicked back, sunglasses on and the leather jacket, he walked out of the room while the scientists tried to calmly collect themselves from what just happened.

Ronan followed Sheppard after a minute and tried to stifle a laugh.

"That was very amusing. . ." he began.

"To you maybe. I looked like a complete idiot, no doubt." Sheppard was in such a tizzy he never took off the sunglasses.

"I don't know sir, it's not a bad look for you." Ronan said teasingly. He didn't expect Sheppard to believe him.

"Well, if you put it that way. . ." Sheppard smiled as the pair marched off to Elizabeth's office to let her know what happened.

(-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------)

**I do not own "Greased Lightnin'" let's just say it belongs to the creators of the movie Grease because I don't know who exactly wrote the song. It definitely isn't mine though. **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Elizabeth almost fell over in shock when Sheppard shuffled into her office, with Ronan close behind, arms crossed in front of his chest. Elizabeth stood, unsure of what else to do and Ronan stood on the doorway.

Sheppard perched himself on Elizabeth's desk and smiled, running his hand through his greasy hair.

"Hello Elizabeth."

"Hi. . . Colonel." Elizabeth said steadily and looked to Ronan for an explanation. Ronan stepped forward slightly and titled his head to one side before speaking.

"We had another. . ." Ronan searched for the right word to use. ". . . encounter."

"Ah, I see." Elizabeth nodded before facing Sheppard. "John?"

"Yeah?" he smiled lopsided. Elizabeth puffed out a aggravated breath of air.

"Take off those sunglasses, get off my desk, go get that gunk out of your hair. After you finish that, gather the team and go to the planet. Got it?"

"Sure thing." Sheppard flung the glasses off his face and he jumped down off the desk. Ronan had already left to do other things so Elizabeth was left alone with Sheppard.

"Oh, and John?" Elizabeth stopped him before he walked out. Sheppard spun around.

"Yeah?"

"Take off that jacket."

"Yes, ma'am." John sloppily saluted and threw the jacket off as he walked through the door.

(-----------------------------------------------------------------)

John got to the Jumper last to see his team already waiting for him there. But someone was missing. . .

"Where's McKay?" Sheppard asked Elizabeth who sat where McKay usually did. Elizabeth smiled lightly.

"I decided I needed to get off the planet for a while. McKay didn't really want to go anyway." She explained and Sheppard just shrugged.

"at least we'll have some quiet."

"Why do I have ta come again?" Beckett moaned from the back. Sheppard closed his eyes.

"Because if there are survivors, you will be there to help them."

"Oh, right." Beckett sat back and sighed. Sheppard made sure everyone was securely in before starting the Jumper. The Jumper was crowded this time with Sheppard, Elizabeth, Teyla, Ronan and Beckett sitting in the small space.

"Here we go."

(-----------------------------------------------------------------)

"Powerful one, we are picking up a Atlantis ship coming not far away." A Wraith called out from the controls. The Leader sat up quickly pretending like he hadn't fallen asleep in his chair.

"Finally." Was all the Wraith Leader said and leaned back in his chair. "Drop some Wraith to distract the people. Then, cloak the ship and lift off. We have some Atlantis scum to trap."

(------------------------------------------------------------------)

The team traipsed through scarred and thick foliage, their guns out just in case.

"So this is the direction, you're certain?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yep. It came from just. . . up. . . here. . ." Sheppard stopped short when they entered a clearing with absolutely no one and nothing. Suddenly there was a rustle in the bushes around the edge of the clearing and unarmed Wraith slid in front of the Atlantis team.

Ronan went to shoot the one who appeared to be in charge of the small army, but Sheppard stopped him when he saw they were unarmed.

"What do you want? Where are you're weapons?" Sheppard stepped forward and called out, squinting in the sunlight.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. . . we don't need weapons. We're just a distraction." The Wraith called back haughtily.

"From what?" was the last thing Sheppard remembered asking as the a Wraith ship swept up Ronan and Teyla. He managed to shoot a few Wraith before he, Elizabeth and Beckett were taken up into the ship.

(------------------------------------------------------------------)

"We have them!" a Wraith curled his lips. The Leader stood and flung his hair over his shoulder in confidence. His coat flowed gently in a non-existent breeze as he held his head high.

"Now we can finally rid of them once and for all. Shall we go welcome them? They'll be waking up soon and we don't want to leave them in the dark, now do we?" The Leader laughed and the rest joined in as the abandoned the controls and followed.

(-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------)

**Sorry that chapter was so short, but I'm trying to put some chapters without songs especially because, as I mentioned before, I only have six songs and six chapters with the song in each would be boring. **


	5. Chapter 5

**I'll disclaim the song at the end of the chapter. Why is nobody reviewing this? I'm disappointed. . . **

Chapter Five

Sheppard blinked a few times to adjust to the poor lighting where he was. He thought he was the first to awaken, but after observation, it was apparent he was the last.

"Oh, John. You're alright." Elizabeth sighed and she offered her hand to Sheppard, who accepted the gesture to help him up.

"What exactly. . . happened?" Sheppard asked after letting himself sort out where he and his team were, which was a giant cage not to different than the one Bob had been in.

"We were captured by the Wraith. They took our weapons and said they didn't want to eat us. . . yet. Said something about torture." Ronan explained as he stood in a corner.

"Torture? I don't remember tha'." Beckett's eyes widened.

"You were pretty. . . how do they say it. . . 'out of it' when the Wraith came to talk to us." Teyla sighed and everyone grew silent once more. Sheppard asked if the Wraith had taken the radios as well. His question was met with the affirmative.

"They took everything except our clothes and sanity." Beckett leaned heavily onto the bars of the cage. All around them, noises of a ship working were going and was much better than complete silence. So of course, two minutes later, everything around them grew completely silent and what light they had faded away.

"_YOU WILL LISTEN TO WHAT WE DO! WE ARE TIRED OF YOU CONSTANTLY RUINING OUR CULLINGS. NOW YOU MUST FEEL PAIN!_" a mysterious and angry voice rang from nowhere. It was hard to place because the voice seemed to be in surround sound which made it even more chilling.

"How about you show yourselves!" Sheppard yelled out, just wanting whatever the Wraith had planned for them to happen.

"_SILENCE!" _the Wraith screeched, and the team reluctantly complied. A single light finally shone from the ceiling illuminating the Wraith Leader, but shadowing his face, giving him the appearance of a body with no head. More Wraith showed up next to him as well as more lights that refused to show their faces.

The team stayed quiet as they waited for whatever was coming their way. They were prepared for the worst. Apparently, they weren't prepared for what was coming next. . .

_**Wraith Leader: (speaking) **On the twenty-third day of the month of September _

_in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, _

_the human race suddenly encountered a deadly _

_threat to its very existence. _

_And this terrifying enemy surfaced, _

_as such enemies often do, _

_in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places.** (Music starts and the lights are now fully illuminating the Wraith as the three minions start to sing and dance. Every team member (except Elizabeth and Ronan) hear their jaws hit the floor.)**_

_(**Three Wraith minions sing while the Wraith Leader dances only)**_

_Little ship, little ship of horrors._

_Little ship, little ship of terror._

_Call a cop. Little ship of horrors._

_No, oh, oh, no-oh!_

_Little ship, little ship of horrors._

_Bop sh'bop, little ship of terror._

_Watch 'em drop! Little ship of horrors._

_No, oh, oh, no-oh!_

_Shing-a-ling, what a creepy thing _

_to be happening!_

_Shang-a-lang, feel the strum _

_and drang in the air._

_Sha-la-la, stop right where you are. _

_Don't you move a thing._

_You better (tellin' you, you better) _

_Tell your mama somethin's gonna _

_get her_

_She better (ev'rybody better) _

_Beware!_

_Little ship, little ship of horrors._

_Bop sh-bop, we'll never stop _

_the terror._

_Little ship, little ship of horrors._

_No, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no!_

The Atlantis team blinked in shock, for that was the only thing they were capable of accomplishing at the moment. The Wraith finished with an over exaggerated flourish and the minions left, but the Wraith Leader stayed behind. He laughed heartily at the faces of the Atlantis team and his lips curled.

"Was that torture or what?"

"That was. . . I think my brain is mush." Sheppard shook his head, but received not comfort. There was a thud behind them and they turned to see Beckett had fainted. . . uh. . . passed out.

"You think that was bad. . . wait until half an hour or so. You'll die!" the Leader laughed again and walked away. All was silent until three minutes later, when the Leader came back.

"You're not going. . ." Sheppard begged on behalf of his team because he seemed to be the only one who could speak.

"No. I came to warn you. After the next song, if your not dead, I'm challenging you. I will pick one of your members and they will have to sing. If they can make any of my Wraith cry, laugh, sing along, or anything other than stare, I will free you."

Sheppard mused over this a moment. It sounded easy enough and slightly fair, for a Wraith. The only problem presented then, was if any of his members could sing. The Leader walked away, hands clasped triumphantly behind his back.

(------------------------------------------------------------------------)

"Does anyone know how to sing?" Sheppard asked ten minutes later after he was sure everyone had recovered.

"Everyone knows how to sing, lad." Beckett pointed out, which didn't help the mood.

"I meant does anyone know how to sing WELL!"

"Ronan tells me you did well before, when I ran away." Teyla nodded and everyone joined her.

"Yeah, well. . . I think Elizabeth should do it. She's the leader, right?"

"Hey! Anyway, the Leader said he was choosing which means he'll probably choose the one he thinks is least likely to succeed."

"Hope you know some good songs, Ronan." Sheppard joked. Ronan glared and said nothing, upset his singing voice was criticized even before someone heard it.

"Uh guys. . ." Beckett said cautiously as he stared at the ceiling.

"What's wrong, Carson?" Elizabeth straightened her back and looked up to observe a disco ball falling and finally spinning gently, casting a slight glow.

"We're baaack. . ." the Wraith Leader smiled as he was joined by no more than six other Wraith.

"That wasn't a half hour!" Sheppard complained.

(-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------)

**I always hate to sound desperate. . . but you know it's calling you. . . _review. . . review. . . review. . . _** **I do not own "Prologue/Little Shop of Horrors" by the writers and some such of the musical. Anyone know who wrote it? **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"We're Wraith." The Leader stated as if it was the obvious answer as to why they lied. Sheppard shrugged and nodded, they were right. The Leader walked up closely to the cage and stared at Ronan. "Why do you show no reaction to our torture?"

"I am incapable of showing any other emotion than slight amusement and anger." Ronan crossed his arms and stared.

"That's being made apparent. And you. . ." the Wraith Leader then turned to Elizabeth who had not showed any type of reaction to the song and instead had stood stick straight with her arms crossed. ". . . how have you avoided the torture. You have no reaction to it as well! Why is that?"

"Lots of drugs." Elizabeth answered slowly and calmly. Her team stared at her nervously and backed away as far as the cage would let them. The Wraith Leader seemed to accept this as a decent answer and backed away into his place in the line of Wraith.

He stood directly under the disco ball and curled his lips, which encouraged his minions to do the same. Sheppard finally realized something and felt it needed to be known.

"How could you possibly know human songs and know about the disco ball?" he asked. The Wraith looked stumped.

"We're Wraith. We see all. . . we know all. . ." the Leader answered ominously.

"Can we get this over with?" Ronan rolled his eyes impatiently.

"Oh, of course!" The Wraith Leader bowed and snapped his fingers. The music began and the disco ball began to spin faster. Elizabeth was the first to recognize the song.

"Oh dear lord. . ." her moan was drowned out by the Wraith. . .

_Aah Everybody, get on the floor, let's dance!_

_Don't fight your feelings, give yourself a chance!_

_Shake shake shake, shake shake, shake,_

_Shake your booty! Shake your booty! **(all the Wraith begin to do the unthinkable. . . they shake their booties. . . right in the Atlantis team's faces. Sheppard blinks, Teyla's on the verge of screaming, Ronan glares, Elizabeth's eye twitches and Beckett begins to waver. The Wraith just keep on shaking.) **_

_Oh, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,_

_Shake your booty! Shake your booty._

_Aah, You can, you can do it very well._

_You're the best in the world, I can tell._

_Oh, Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,_

_Shake your booty! Shake your booty!_

_Oh, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,_

_Shake your booty! Shake your booty._

_(WoWohoo,Yeah!)_

_Shake, shake, shake, shake!_

_Aah, Shake, shake, shake, shake!_

_Aah, Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,_

_Shake your booty! Shake your booty!_

_Oh, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,_

_Shake your booty! Shake your booty._

_Aah, Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake your booty!_

_Aah, don't fight the feeling._

_Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake your booty!_

_Aah, give yourself a chance._

_Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake your booty!_

_You can do it! do it!_

_Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake your booty!_

_(Come home with momma now!)_

_Shake, shake, shake. shake, shake your booty!_

_WoooHOOOOHoooo!_

_Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake your booty!_

_Aah, run down to sister._

_Shake, shake(come on), shake, shake(come on), on your booty!_

_Aah! do your duty. Aah haa!_

_Fade out: Shake, shake(come on), shake, shake(come on), on your booty!_

When the Wraith completed their song they all began to laugh, unsure of what would be a better way to react to how their captives looked. Sheppard's hands were trembling as he covered his mouth to stop himself from tossing his cookies on the floor.

Teyla was biting her lip so hard to stop herself from screaming, her lip was beginning to bleed. Ronan's teeth were grinding painfully as he continued to glare with squinted eyes. Elizabeth's eye twitch furiously and she was breathing heavily. Beckett was waver much more but kept pinching himself to stop himself from "passing out" again.

"Did you enjoy that?" the Leader snorted.

"Uhgggg. . ." was the only audible noise heard and the Leader wasn't sure who actually said that.

"We'll return later to pick the contestant in our little contest." All the Wraith walked away, leaving the team to tremble, bite, grind, twitch, and pinch all they needed.

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An hour later, the Wraith had informed the people at Atlantis what they were doing, culled a planet and enjoyed a fine meal. Upon returning, the Leader observed that his enemies had not changed except they were doing what they were doing less so than before.

"Oh, for goodness sake! Snap out of it!" the Wraith Leader yelled, but they did not change.

"So. .. much. . . shaking. . ." mumbled Elizabeth.

"Shaking. . . Wraith. . . booties. . ." Beckett gasped out. The Leader sighed heavily and rolled his eyes as he picked up a large bucket filled with cold water. He used what little strength a Wraith possessed and flung the cold water into the cage.

"COLD!" Sheppard jumped and the rest of the team snapped out of their dazes one by one.

"Now that your dripping. . . and paying attention. . . I'm here to finally choose who will sing in our contest." The Leader smiled evilly. The Team looked nervously around at each other. Who would it be? Who?

"Please not me. . . please not me. . .please. . ." begged Sheppard under his breath.

"DOCTOR BECKETT! You will be the one to sing the song!"

THUD. Beckett fainted.

". . . after you wake up."

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**I don't mean for these chapters to be so short, I swear.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own "Shake Your Booty" by KC and the Sunshine Band. I forgot to disclaim that in the last chapter. I'll disclaim this song at the end of the chapter. . . **

Chapter Seven

Beckett finally had woken up and somebody explained what was going on, leaving the rest of the team to stop him from fainting again.

"Can we have a minute first?" Sheppard asked.

"Oh, alright." The Wraith Leader waited as the Atlantis team whispered in the corner. When the stepped away again, they announced they had a few rules and questions before they began.

"Can he have backup?"

"No."

"Is he allowed any effects he wants?" Teyla questioned the Wraith, which they nodded yes.

"We don't want any Wraith to influence Beckett in anyway during his performance." Elizabeth stated and the Wraith reluctantly agreed. After that, everyone stood in silence as Beckett sweated and shook. His friends were giving him encouraging looks while the Wraith that were crowded around the cage, glowered.

"So. . . do you have a wide selection of songs to choose from?" the Leader asked politely, not sure if they were waiting for Beckett to choose a song.

"Uh. . . no." He shook some more.

"Then what is it?" Elizabeth asked comfortingly.

"I only know ONE song!" Beckett finally blurted out.

"Only one!" Sheppard began to freak out. "Which one?" he was afraid to know. Beckett whispered it in Sheppard's ear. "We're doomed." He moaned. "Doomed."

"Well, you can't drop out, unless you want to which will give you know choice but to let us eat you." The Wraith Leader smiled.

"NEVER!" Ronan roared and pushed Beckett forward. "I don't care what song it is! Sing it. Sing it well. Get us out of here!" Ronan hissed into Beckett's ear. Beckett turned to Elizabeth, who nodded.

"I'll. . . I'll need you to dim the lights." Beckett waited until that had been done. "Now, I need a spot light on my face and upper part of my body. . . but mostly my face." Again, Beckett waited until said order had been carried out before speaking again, but he was interrupted.

"Tell the Wraith coming up to the cage what song it is so he can find the music." The Leader told Beckett. A small Wraith who sniffled a lot approached the cage. He smelled funny and Beckett held his breath as he whispered the song into it's ear. It laughed and walked away.

"Whenever your ready. . ." began Sheppard.

". . . but rather sooner than later." Finished the Wraith Leader. Beckett shifted his feet slightly and cleared his throat. He cracked his knuckles and sighed.

"Stop stalling!" the Wraith Leader and Elizabeth yelled at the same time.

"Okay. I'm ready." Beckett sighed shakily and the music began. . .

_From the day we arrive on the planet **("Oh, no" moaned Elizabeth as she put a hand on her face.)**_

_And blinking, step into the sun_

_There's more to be seen than can ever be seen_

_More to do than can ever be done_

_Some say eat or be eaten_

_Some say live and let live_

_But all are agreed as they join the stampede_

_You should never take more than you give **("I do not know this song." Teyla whispered. "Good." Sheppard whispered back.)**_

_In the Circle of Life_

_It's the wheel of fortune_

_It's the leap of faith_

_It's the band of hope_

_Till we find our place_

_On the path unwinding_

_In the Circle, the Circle of Life_

_Some of us fall by the wayside_

_And some of us soar to the stars_

_And some of us sail through our troubles_

_And some have to live with the scars_

_There's far too much to take in here_

_More to find than can ever be found_

_But the sun rolling high_

_Through the sapphire sky_

_Keeps the great and small on the endless round_

_In the Circle of Life **(the Wraith, minus the Leader start waving their arms back and forth above their heads. Some cry. Elizabeth tears up. Ronan pulls out a lighter and lights it and begins waving it back and forth above his head. "Where did you get that from?" Sheppard asked Ronan. Ronan ignored him.)**_

_It's the wheel of fortune_

_It's the leap of faith_

_It's the band of hope_

_Till we find our place_

_On the path unwinding_

_In the Circle, the Circle of Life_

_In the Circle of Life_

_It's the wheel of fortune_

_It's the leap of faith_

_It's the band of hope_

_Till we find our place_

_On the path unwinding_

_In the Circle, the Circle of Life_

_On the path unwinding_

_In the Circle, the Circle of Life._

Beckett finished slowly and calmly as the spotlight faded. Now, Most of the Wraith were crying and some were hugging each other while others were doing both at the same time. Elizabeth had tears falling as well and Ronan put away his lighter.

"Now what!" Sheppard straightened triumphantly. The Wraith Leader surveyed his minions and pulled out a key.

"Oh, codswallop." The Wraith Leader mumbled as he unlocked the cage.

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**Fin. **

**I do not own "Circle of Life" by Elton John. Nice way to end, huh? **

**Let me know what you thought. . . no flames please. . . **


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